Business of writing

Writing like an entrepreneur. Writing with a business plan and timetables over one or two or more years. As in knowing where you are going and what you want to present. Writing as a business, as a serious grow up thing. A bit like school and a bit like you really mean it and you want it and you would do anything to get there.
But then there a writer like me who write a lot, bucket loads of words. They flow. They are not called. you sit down and they happen and then some more and you cant stop. There is no switch to stop yourself as there was no stop switch to get yourself start. I becomes a habit. Something you do and some days it is like a chore. Something you wish you had never started. Something that should somebody else’s burden. Take that chalice away from me. But no i will drink of it the sweet wine of words written and thrown out. Raw and fresh and still alive when put to paper or a screen.
What do i wish to write about. I have two novels on the go and loads of poetry that needs revisiting and reshaping and making more for today although just a few years, months days old. Notice i avoid reworking. I don’t talk about doing anything useful with them. I just want to see them again and remember the feelings and the moments that made me sit down and take notice and write till i was ready to move on and to accept that those things happen. And then you move on. The poems stay behind but your life has gone other places, met other people. you no longer are the person who did the writing. But is yours and it is there but unlike and adult child or even an infant child. You cant make changes to them they are their own people. They walk their own path. But poems are more flexible. The children we can manipulate, make ours more over time by going back and editing and making them say what you want them to express now and not the things that were burdening, upsetting or making you sing for joy. All those are in the past. in your past.
Now there is a new you and those poems are like old friends or a neglected garden which you make yours by telling them they haven’t change one bit and then very gently and you insert new meanings and new memories and you rewrite you own history.